Beef Drain
A "hard Southern rock" band briefly signed to Orange Van Records. As Orange Van Records kept very poor records and Carl Bird is belligerent about answering questions about this band, the names of two of the members are unknown.
| Beef Drain | |
|---|---|
 |
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| Genres | Hard Southern rock |
| Years active | 2014–2015 |
| Labels | Orange Van Records |
| Members | Hound Dog, Ratchet |
| Status | Presumed disbanded |
Live performances
Only one of two known live performances by Beef Drain is documented.
For the July 18, 2014 Rumble in The Park wrestling event organized by Zutroy Zagreb, Zagreb contacted Carl Bird because he needed a band, “any band” in his words, to open the event and draw a crowd. Carl lent the band his van and sent them on their way. The band showed up promptly without any high powered amplification equipment, one member mentioned that he pawned the band’s PA system.
According to a LiveJournal entry posted by an attendee:
This piece of shit van rolled up and out piled these grubby-looking dudes. They looked like they just stepped out of 1976 (in a bad way). All of their equipment looked like they bought musician starter packs from Guitar Center. The bass player alone looked like some kind of redneck Jesus who could turn water into cold Coors lite.
They set up a piece of plywood that had their name spray painted on it, like literally the heavyset drummer just made it out back five minutes before they went on stage.
Then they started playing. While they weren’t bad musicians and mostly kept time and stayed in key, the singer didn’t so much sing as yelled in different pitches. They seemed to be proud of the fact that they were playing “all originals”. I couldn’t tell you how many songs I heard but all of them were three chord blues rock and they were all about underage girls. The singer must not have felt like he drove the point home because between songs he tried to hype the crowd up by saying things like “let’s hear it from the hot fourteen year olds in the audience!”
And then there’s the bizarre matter of the guy who didn’t seem to add any musical value to the band. All he did was stand on stage (in pants that were much too tight) and clap to the rhythm.
Member biographies
"Hound Dog"
Former drummer of Florida-area band Raydon that was known on the local trailer park circuit. Reportedly threatened to assault Carl Bird with a pipe wrench over gross mismanagement.
"Ratchet"
Known to originate from Chicago and formerly played in the band Rusty Metal, and was allegedly known as "King of the Thirsty Whale."