Timeline of Carl Bird Occupations: Difference between revisions
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| Clown | | Clown | ||
| Joliet, Illinois | | Joliet, Illinois | ||
| | | 2021–present | ||
| — | | — | ||
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| Sanitation Engineer | | Sanitation Engineer | ||
| East Joliet, Illinois | | East Joliet, Illinois | ||
| | | 2020–2021 | ||
| Did not show up, called in a bizarre excuse, to quote Bird: "My buddy Juan says the van I sold him smells like stale farts and Drakkar Noir when it rains, I gotta go take care of that." Bird was already on probation for smoking cigars in the bathroom while on the clock. | | Did not show up, called in a bizarre excuse, to quote Bird: "My buddy Juan says the van I sold him smells like stale farts and Drakkar Noir when it rains, I gotta go take care of that." Bird was already on probation for smoking cigars in the bathroom while on the clock. | ||
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| Jizz Mopper | | Jizz Mopper | ||
| Crest Hill, Illinois | | Crest Hill, Illinois | ||
| | | 2017–2020 | ||
| Gross incompetence, theft, health code violations. | | Gross incompetence, theft, health code violations, failure to follow COVID protocols. | ||
|- | |- | ||
| Emerald City Roller Derby | | Emerald City Roller Derby | ||
| Fluffer | | Fluffer | ||
| Rockford, Illinois | | Rockford, Illinois | ||
| | | 2013–2014 | ||
| Sexual harassment of the roller derby girls. | | Sexual harassment of the roller derby girls. | ||
|- | |- | ||
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| Marketing Specialist | | Marketing Specialist | ||
| Rockford, IL | | Rockford, IL | ||
| | | 2011–2012 | ||
| A pair of elderly women reported that Bird exposed himself to them while wearing the store's promotional mattress character suit. Bird claims "my balls were hanging out, what's the big deal?" | | A pair of elderly women reported that Bird exposed himself to them while wearing the store's promotional mattress character suit. Bird claims "my balls were hanging out, what's the big deal?" | ||
|- | |- | ||
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| Rodeo clown | | Rodeo clown | ||
| Rockford, Illinois | | Rockford, Illinois | ||
| | | 2010–2011 | ||
| Bird got incarcerated for misdemeanor wire fraud totaling less than $100. | | Bird got incarcerated for misdemeanor wire fraud totaling less than $100. | ||
|- | |- | ||
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| Mall Santa | | Mall Santa | ||
| Rockford, Illinois | | Rockford, Illinois | ||
| | | 2009–2010 | ||
| Health code violations, smoking on the job and inattentiveness to keeping his working area free of cigarette butts. | | Health code violations, smoking on the job and inattentiveness to keeping his working area free of cigarette butts. | ||
|- | |- | ||
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| Laborer | | Laborer | ||
| Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania | | Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania | ||
| | | 1997–1998 | ||
| Falsification of workman's comp claim. | | Falsification of workman's comp claim. | ||
|- | |- | ||