Carl Bird Extended Universe

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| species    = "Anthropomorphic bird man"
| species    = "Anthropomorphic bird man"
| occupation  = [[Timeline of Carl Bird Occupations]]
| occupation  = [[Timeline of Carl Bird Occupations]]
| affiliation = [[Redline]]
| affiliation = [[Redline]], [[Orange Van Records]]
| relatives  = [[Big Bird]], [[Johnny Walker]]
| relatives  = [[Big Bird]], [[Johnny Walker]]
| associates  = [[Tony "No Nose" Catellini]]; [[Juan Gonzalez]]; [[Zutroy Zagreb]]
| associates  = [[Tony "No Nose" Catellini]]; [[Juan Gonzalez]]; [[Zutroy Zagreb]]
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}}
}}


'''Carl Bird''' (born July 4, 1969) is an American reprobate, gambler, habitual schemer, and recurring criminal offender who serves as one of the central figures of the '''[[Carl Bird Universe]]'''. He is the older and considerably meaner cousin of [[Big Bird]], whom he physically resembles.
'''Carl Bird''' (born July 4, 1969) is an American reprobate, gambler, habitual schemer, and recurring criminal offender. He is the older and considerably meaner cousin of Big Bird, whom he physically resembles.


Carl is best known for his criminal record in the greater Chicagoland area of Illinois, but (as he frequently attempts to advertise) is also a guitarist associated with the hard-rock band '''[[Redline]]''', although his actual musical contribution has frequently been questioned. He is also known for a lengthy history of misdemeanor criminal activity, unstable housing, compulsive gambling, poorly planned business ventures, public disturbances, and repeated encounters with security personnel and law enforcement.
Carl is best known for his criminal record in the greater Chicagoland area of Illinois, but (as he frequently attempts to advertise) is also a guitarist associated with the hard-rock band '''[[Redline]]''', although his actual musical contribution has frequently been questioned. He is also known for a lengthy history of misdemeanor criminal activity, unstable housing, compulsive gambling, poorly planned business ventures, public disturbances, and repeated encounters with security personnel and law enforcement.


Physically, Carl is characterized by yellow feathers, bloodshot eyes, prison-style tattoos covering his arms and legs, cutoff denim shorts, and a gold chain bearing the word '''TWEETY'''. He is rarely seen without a lit cigarette hanging from his mouth.
Physically, Carl is characterized by yellow feathers, bloodshot eyes, prison-style tattoos covering his arms and legs, cutoff denim shorts, and occasionally a gold chain. He is rarely seen without a lit cigarette hanging from his mouth.


Despite maintaining little stable employment and often living in vans of questionable provenance, Carl has managed to remain connected to a surprisingly broad network of musicians, promoters, attorneys, wrestlers, small-time businessmen, and local personalities.
Despite maintaining little stable employment and often living in vans of questionable provenance, Carl has managed to remain connected to a surprisingly broad network of small-time musicians, promoters, attorneys, wrestlers, businessmen, and local personalities.


== Early life ==
== Early life ==
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Little reliable information is available regarding his childhood. He has variously claimed to have grown up in Brooklyn, Queens, Manhattan, or "wherever the action was," although the Brooklyn account is generally accepted as canonical.
Little reliable information is available regarding his childhood. He has variously claimed to have grown up in Brooklyn, Queens, Manhattan, or "wherever the action was," although the Brooklyn account is generally accepted as canonical.


Carl speaks with a pronounced, gruff New York accent which has remained largely unchanged despite spending significant portions of his adult life in Illinois, where he moved because, according to him, "shit's cheaper, and they got loopholes in their vehicle registration process".
Carl speaks with a pronounced, gruff Brooklyn accent which has remained largely unchanged despite spending significant portions of his adult life in Illinois, where he moved because, according to him, "shit's cheaper, and they got loopholes in their vehicle registration process".


He is the older cousin of [[Big Bird]]. The precise relationship between Carl and the larger Bird family remains poorly documented, although Carl has repeatedly described himself as:
He is the older cousin of Big Bird. The precise relationship between Carl and the larger Bird family remains poorly documented, although Carl has repeatedly described himself as "the Bird they don't put on television".
 
:''"The Bird they don't put on television."''


Carl's relationship with his more famous cousin is believed to be strained.
Carl's relationship with his more famous cousin is believed to be strained.
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== Appearance ==
== Appearance ==


Carl closely resembles [[Big Bird]] in overall body shape and plumage, but differs markedly in grooming and presentation.
Carl closely resembles Big Bird in overall body shape and plumage, but differs markedly in grooming and presentation. He may be easily differentiated by the following characteristics:
 
His usual appearance includes:
 
* yellow feathers;
* heavily bloodshot eyes;
* visible five-o'clock shadow;
* numerous crude prison tattoos on his feathered limbs;
* cutoff denim shorts;
* more recently, a heavy gold chain reading '''TWEETY''' but generally almost always with a gold chain of some type;
* worn athletic shoes or slippers issued by the county jail: "those are the most comfortable" according to Carl;
* and a permanently lit cigarette, typically hanging from the corner of his mouth.
 
Carl is frequently shirtless.


His tattoos are all crude and show poor art skill, but generally consist of  names, skulls, dice, women, card suits, and other imagery associated with gambling and incarceration.
* heavily bloodshot eyes
* numerous crude prison tattoos on his feathered limbs
* cutoff denim shorts
* almost always shirtless
* a gold chain, more recently one bearing the name TWEETY
* thrifted athletic shoes or slippers issued by the county jail; "those are the most comfortable" according to Carl
* almost always with a lit cigarette hanging from his mouth


The '''TWEETY''' chain is one of Carl's most recognizable possessions and appears to have survived multiple arrests, vehicle fires, periods of homelessness, and at least one alleged pawn-shop transaction.
=== Tattoos ===
His tattoos are all crude and show poor art skill, but generally consist of names, skulls, dice, women, card suits, and other imagery associated with gambling and incarceration.


== Personality ==
== Personality ==
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He possesses a strong instinct for identifying minor loopholes, questionable money-making opportunities, unsecured alcohol, unattended merchandise, unsecured power hookups, vehicle law loopholes, and situations in which rules might not technically apply to him.
He possesses a strong instinct for identifying minor loopholes, questionable money-making opportunities, unsecured alcohol, unattended merchandise, unsecured power hookups, vehicle law loopholes, and situations in which rules might not technically apply to him.


His defining personality traits include:
Carl generally rejects the suggestion that he is unemployed, preferring terms such as "between gigs," "independent," "consulting," or "working on something."


* extreme confidence unsupported by circumstance;
He asks nearly everyone he meets to borrow money. In the event that someone happens to lend him money, he either completely disappears, or if cornered, he offers to repay the loan in highly elaborate, questionable ways such as:
* chronic gambling;
* hostility toward security guards and petty officials;
* resistance to conventional employment;
* casual dishonesty;
* intense loyalty to a small number of associates;
* a tendency to treat every conflict as a matter of personal dignity;
* and an almost supernatural ability to survive consequences which would permanently derail most people.


Carl generally rejects the suggestion that he is unemployed, preferring terms such as "between gigs," "independent," "consulting," or "working on something."
* third party checks
 
* poorly counterfeited cash
He is particularly contemptuous of individuals whom he perceives as exercising insignificant authority too enthusiastically. This has resulted in a longstanding antagonistic relationship with [[Mike Jorpa]].
* free Big Mac coins ("those held their value better than gold", according to Bird, and amusingly he's not wrong)
* bartering for possessions, which are usually worthless junk
* foreign currency from countries that no longer exist
*


== Employment history ==
== Employment history ==
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=== Other employment ===
=== Other employment ===


Carl has subsequently worked intermittently in manual labor, entertainment, promotion, automotive work, and various informal enterprises.
Carl has subsequently worked intermittently in manual labor, entertainment, promotion, automotive work, and various informal enterprises. Most of these arrangements have been short-lived. His employment history is difficult to reconstruct because Carl frequently describes gambling, reselling merchandise, informal contracting, music performances, and personal favors as "jobs."


Most of these arrangements have been short-lived.
For a very brief period in 2014 he produced and broadcasted [[Uncle Carl's Radio Show]].
 
His employment history is difficult to reconstruct because Carl frequently describes gambling, reselling merchandise, informal contracting, music performances, and personal favors as "jobs."


[[Timeline of Carl Bird Occupations]]
[[Timeline of Carl Bird Occupations]]
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Known or alleged incidents have included:
Known or alleged incidents have included:


* loitering;
* loitering
* public urination;
* public urination
* illegal dumping;
* illegal dumping
* shoplifting;
* shoplifting
* unlicensed tire burning;
* unlicensed tire burning
* misdemeanor bootlegging;
* misdemeanor bootlegging
* fraud;
* fraud
* driving under the influence;
* driving under the influence
* driving without a valid license;
* driving without a valid license
* driving without insurance;
* driving without insurance
* lottery-related fraud;
* lottery-related fraud
* purchasing cigarettes for minors;
* purchasing cigarettes for minors
* impersonating a licensed exterminator;
* impersonating a licensed exterminator
* solicitation;
* solicitation
* and various public-order violations.
* practicing medicine without a license
* environmental violations


Carl has repeatedly demonstrated a peculiar ability to remain involved in criminal behavior while frequently avoiding the most serious possible charges.
Carl has repeatedly demonstrated a peculiar ability to remain involved in criminal behavior while frequently avoiding the most serious possible charges.
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=== Felony and incarceration accounts ===
=== Felony and incarceration accounts ===


Carl's exact felony history is one of the more inconsistent areas of documented continuity.
Carl's exact felony history is one of the more inconsistent areas of documented continuity. Some accounts describe him as a career misdemeanor offender who has deliberately remained just below the threshold of serious felony prosecution. Other accounts state that Carl was convicted of '''grand larceny in New York''' and served approximately '''eight years in prison''' after committing the crime while attempting to resolve a financial crisis involving [[Tony "No Nose" Catellini]].
 
Some accounts describe him as a career misdemeanor offender who has deliberately remained just below the threshold of serious felony prosecution.
 
Other accounts state that Carl was convicted of '''grand larceny in New York''' and served approximately '''eight years in prison''' after committing the crime while attempting to resolve a financial crisis involving [[Tony "No Nose" Catellini]].


His prison tattoos and repeated references to incarceration strongly indicate that Carl has served significant jail or prison time regardless of the precise conviction history.
His prison tattoos and repeated references to incarceration strongly indicate that Carl has served significant jail or prison time regardless of the precise conviction history.


For continuity purposes, later accounts generally treat Carl as having a genuine prison record while retaining his remarkable tendency to escape serious punishment for most subsequent offenses.
[[Carl Bird legal troubles]]


== Tony "No Nose" Catellini ==
== Legal Representation ==


Carl's attorney, fixer, and occasional handler is Cicero lawyer '''[[Tony "No Nose" Catellini]]'''.
Carl's attorney, fixer, and occasional handler is Cicero lawyer '''[[Tony "No Nose" Catellini]]'''.
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According to one established account, Catellini once accumulated approximately '''$900,000 in gambling debt'''. Carl subsequently became involved in resolving the situation under circumstances that remain poorly documented and possibly criminal.
According to one established account, Catellini once accumulated approximately '''$900,000 in gambling debt'''. Carl subsequently became involved in resolving the situation under circumstances that remain poorly documented and possibly criminal.


Catellini thereafter described himself as owing Carl a lifetime debt of gratitude.
Catellini thereafter described himself as owing Carl a lifetime debt of gratitude. This relationship has proved invaluable to Carl, who frequently requires legal representation.
 
This relationship has proved invaluable to Carl, who frequently requires legal representation.
 
Catellini has represented or advised Carl in matters involving:
 
* vehicle offenses;
* public intoxication;
* disorderly conduct;
* licensing disputes;
* entertainment contracts;
* arrests;
* alleged fraud;
* and disputes where Carl insists that something is legal because "No Nose said it's fine."


Carl usually refers to Catellini simply as '''No Nose'''.
Carl usually refers to Catellini simply as '''No Nose'''.
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=== Redline ===
=== Redline ===


Carl is closely associated with the hard-rock band '''[[Redline]]''', signed at various points to '''[[Dollar General Records]]'''.
Carl is closely associated with the band '''[[Redline]]''' which records and performs hypermasculine exaggerated arena rock sometimes described as '''mustache rock'''. He is generally credited as a rhythm guitarist, however his precise contribution to live performances is controversial.
 
Redline performs a mixture of hard rock, heavy metal, melodic rock, and exaggerated masculine arena-rock sometimes described as '''mustache rock'''.
 
Carl is generally credited as a '''rhythm guitarist'''.
 
His precise contribution to live performances is controversial.


On numerous occasions Carl's guitar has reportedly been:
On numerous occasions Carl's guitar has reportedly been:


* unplugged;
* unplugged
* connected to an amplifier with the volume turned down;
* connected to an amplifier with the volume turned down
* missing a cable entirely;
* missing a cable entirely;
* or otherwise inaudible in the final mix.
* otherwise inaudible in the final mix


Carl has rarely appeared to notice.
Carl has rarely appeared to notice.


This has led to speculation that his position in Redline is based more heavily on personal relationships, image, persistence, and his inability to be removed from backstage areas than on musical necessity.
This has led to speculation that his position in Redline is based more heavily on personal relationships, image, persistence, and his inability to be removed from backstage areas than on musical necessity. Carl nevertheless considers himself an essential member of the group. He has occasionally claimed songwriting credit for songs for which no other member remembers him contributing.
 
Carl nevertheless considers himself an essential member of the group.


Carl has occasionally claimed songwriting credit for songs for which no other member remembers him contributing.
=== Trabajo Bone ===


=== Musical ability ===
Carl has an informal relationship with Mexican-American norteño metal band '''[[Trabajo Bone]]''', and briefly served as their rhythm guitarist, but was asked to leave due to lack of ability and experience.
 
Carl's actual guitar skill is generally considered limited.
 
He knows several basic chords, blues-rock shapes, and recognizable fragments of common hard-rock riffs.
 
His primary technique consists of aggressive strumming, volume, posing, and pointing at members of the audience.
 
More technically skilled musicians within the universe tend to tolerate him rather than regard him as a peer.
 
During an attempted jam with [[Ramón "Bones" Villaseñor]] of [[Trabajo Bone]], Ramón reportedly unplugged Carl's amplifier.
 
Carl continued playing without noticing.
 
== Trabajo Bone ==
 
Carl has an informal relationship with Mexican-American glam/norteño metal band '''[[Trabajo Bone]]'''.
 
Trabajo Bone frontman [[Héctor "El Hueso" Montoya]] has repeatedly allowed Carl backstage, largely because Héctor keeps beer available and has never definitively established whether Carl is actually supposed to be present.


Carl has consequently described Trabajo Bone as "good people."
Carl has consequently described Trabajo Bone as "good people."
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The band's musicians appear to regard Carl with varying degrees of amusement and irritation.
The band's musicians appear to regard Carl with varying degrees of amusement and irritation.


== Juan Gonzalez ==
=== Musical ability ===


One of Carl's longtime associates is '''[[Juan Gonzalez]'''.
Carl's actual guitar skill is generally considered limited. He knows several basic chords, blues-rock shapes, and recognizable fragments of common hard-rock riffs. His primary technique consists of aggressive strumming, volume, posing, and pointing at members of the audience. More technically skilled musicians within his social circle tend to tolerate him rather than regard him as a peer. His equipment is usually in poor repair, "like something he traded a set of used tires for at a pawn shop" according to [[Redline]] keyboardist Johann Heimberg.


Carl and Juan have appeared together in numerous contexts, primarily centered around quasi-legal mobile food service ventures, such as their ill-fated food truck business [[Taco Jabronis]].
== Relationship with technology ==
Carl seems to be extremely resistant to using pieces of technology that were not in widespread use in the 1980s. He seems to not understand the point of things such as CDs, DVDs, cellular phones or flat panel TVs. Despite clearly running a social media page on Facebook, he appears to only be tangentially aware of what the internet is or how it works. He often mentions relying on VHS and cassette tapes for entertainment, only seems to use land line telephones, often speaks of the utility of CB radio (claiming "all the fat chicks hang out on channel 12") and is fascinated by the idea of playing video games on the Nintendo Entertainment System (the cartridges for which he calls "tapes").


Juan is among the relatively small number of people whom Carl appears to regard as a genuine friend rather than a potential source of transportation, alcohol, money, or temporary housing.
Carl has made internet posts about various computers he has owned, but all of said computers were completely inadequate for regular use on the internet, having been salvaged from dumps or acquired in a trade at a pawn shop. It is theorized that Carl accesses his Facebook through computers at public libraries.


== Zutroy Zagreb ==
When forced to interact with a newer piece of technology, he will often mumble about "all this new shit" and lose interest in attempting to accomplish the task at hand.


'''[[Zutroy Zagreb]]''' is an Eastern European booking agent and entertainment-industry connection who has arranged work involving Carl and other performers within the universe.
== Personal Relationships ==
=== Juan Gonzalez ===


Zagreb's humorless, transactional personality frequently clashes with Carl's improvisational approach to contracts and scheduling.
One of Carl's longtime associates is '''[[Juan Gonzalez]]'''. Carl and Juan have appeared together in numerous contexts, primarily centered around quasi-legal mobile food service ventures, such as their ill-fated food truck business [[Taco Jabronis]]. Gonzalez also works for [[Mercado La Colonia]], a small Mexican grocery store in Melrose Park, Illinois. Carl often appears in and around the store trying obtain store credit or run small time scams on the customers, much to the chagrin of the store's owner/manager '''[[Rakesh Subramanian]]'''.


Carl nevertheless respects Zagreb because he "gets gigs."
Juan is among the relatively small number of people whom Carl appears to regard as a genuine friend rather than a potential source of transportation, alcohol, money, or temporary housing.


== Darnell Watson ==
=== Zutroy Zagreb ===


Carl has repeatedly crossed paths with promoter and entrepreneur '''[[Darnell Watson]]'''.
'''[[Zutroy Zagreb]]''' is a Hungarian-American booking agent and entertainment-industry connection who has arranged work involving Carl, usually with poor outcomes. Zagreb's humorless, transactional personality frequently clashes with Carl's improvisational approach to contracts and scheduling. Zagreb once described Carl as "a fucking clown".


Watson is associated with the [[Darnell Watson Funk Experience]] and numerous entertainment ventures.
=== Darnell Watson ===


The two possess fundamentally different approaches to business: Watson typically attempts to construct an actual promotional enterprise, while Carl tends to identify opportunities for free admission, alcohol, merchandise resale, side gambling, or unauthorized participation.
Carl has repeatedly crossed paths with promoter and entrepreneur '''[[Darnell Watson]]'''. Watson is associated with the [[Darnell Watson Funk Experience]] and many other haphazardly arranged events.


Despite this, Watson has continued to deal with Carl on multiple occasions.
The two possess fundamentally different approaches to business: Watson typically attempts to construct an actual promotional enterprise, while Carl tends to identify opportunities for free admission, alcohol, merchandise resale, side gambling, or unauthorized participation. However, given that Watson's endeavors are frequently quasi-legal, he occasionally relies on Carl to handle some of the event management. (Chasing away people who are asking too many questions, event security or taking the fall in case something goes sideways.)


== Mike Jorpa ==
=== Mike Jorpa ===


'''[[Mike Jorpa]]''' is one of Carl's most persistent antagonists.
'''[[Mike Jorpa]]''' is is an officious security supervisor known for an unusually rigid interpretation of his limited authority, and someone against whom Carl has declared a personal vendetta due to a series of parking lot loitering incidents throughout the 2020s.
 
Jorpa is an officious security supervisor known for an unusually rigid interpretation of his limited authority.
 
Carl regards Jorpa with open contempt.


Their encounters often involve:
Their encounters often involve:


* parking regulations;
* loitering
* loitering;
* open alcohol
* unauthorized vehicles;
* smoking
* open alcohol;
* fires
* smoking;
* littering
* fires;
* trespassing
* littering;
* trespassing;
* and Carl's insistence that privately employed security personnel "aren't real cops."


Jorpa, for his part, appears to view Carl as a personal challenge to the entire concept of rules.
== Vehicles ==


One notable encounter occurred in an '''Elgin strip-mall parking lot''', where Carl established an informal campsite beside his van despite a prominently posted '''NO LOITERING''' sign.
Carl has owned, borrowed, won, lost, or denied ownership of numerous vans and RVs.


Carl sat in a folding lawn chair drinking a tallboy of Miller High Life beside a small burn barrel while Jorpa confronted him from a security golf cart with its amber warning lights activated.
He strongly favors 1970s full-size American conversion vans, particularly those featuring:


The surrounding area contained substantial litter.
* exterior painted murals of fantasy art
* shag carpeting
* nonfunctional interior lighting
* sleeping/living quarters
* entertainment systems with TV and VCR
* 8 track players


The incident has become one of the most recognizable examples of the Carl-Jorpa rivalry.
However, due to his perpetual lack of funds, such vehicles are nearly always in a poor state of repair. Any vehicle owned by Carl has at least a few of the following problems:


== Vehicles ==
* major flooring segments repaired with sheet metal
* rust perforation on most body panels
* bald, mismatched tires—in some cases spare tires
* a malfunctioning or purposefully disconnected speedometer cable
* brakes always one hard slam from being completely shot
* emissions controls being a mere suggestion
* at least one broken window (usually repaired with packing tape)
* body damage
* dragging tailpipe
* worn out or perforated muffler
* oil, coolant, brake fluid leaks
* extremely unhygienic interior
* slipping transmission


Carl has owned, borrowed, won, lost, or denied ownership of numerous vans.
Systems like external lighting, mirrors, etc. are generally kept in a functioning state to discourage unnecessary  contact with law enforcement. However, most police in the Rockford, Joliet, Aurora, and Elgin areas know any of his vehicles on sight. According to Sgt. Peebles of the Elgin Police:


He strongly favors 1970s full-size American vans, particularly those featuring:
<blockquote>
Whenever you see a piece of shit van with a busted muffler and a wizard or some shit painted on the side roll into town, it can only be one person. The way I see it? Pull him over, you'll find something to get him on no matter what.
</blockquote>


* custom murals;
Carl's housing situation and vehicle ownership are often functionally inseparable. He frequently obtains vehicles through poker games, serendipity, bartering, or scheming rather than conventional purchase. He has been known to refer to one van in particular as the '''[[Sidepipe Wagon]]''', as evidenced by this catcall he made toward a woman in Rockford before being arrested for reckless driving:
* shag carpeting;
* side pipes;
* questionable mechanical condition;
* nonfunctional interior lighting;
* and expired registration.


Carl frequently obtains vehicles through poker games or informal trades rather than conventional purchase.
<blockquote>
Hey baby, wanna go for a ride in the sidepipe wagon? This eight track player only plays one song: Space Truckin' by Deep Purple!
</blockquote>


A rusted '''1978 Dodge Tradesman''' associated with Carl featured a fantasy-style wizard mural on the hood.
Amusingly, Bird has been known to say his van "only plays" other songs as well:


He has also been associated with the '''[[Sidepipe Wagon]]'''.
* Slow Ride by Foghat
* Frankenstein by Edgar Winter Group
* Take It On The Run by REO Speedwagon
* Detroit Rock City by Kiss
* Radar Love by Golden Earring


Carl has denied owning vehicles while standing immediately beside them.
When confronted with inquiries by police or security officials, Carl has denied owning vehicles while standing immediately beside them.
 
His housing situation and vehicle ownership are often functionally inseparable.


== Housing ==
== Housing ==
 
[[File:Carl apartment 2.jpg|thumb|A photo taken by a landlord after evicting Bird]]
Carl has experienced chronic housing instability.
Carl has experienced chronic housing instability.


He has lived at various times in:
He has lived at various times in:


* vans;
* vans
* garages;
* garages
* spare rooms;
* spare rooms
* motel rooms;
* motel rooms
* friends' houses;
* friends' houses
* women's homes;
* women's homes
* parking lots;
* parking lots
* and other temporary arrangements.
* mobile homes
* a Bank of America vestibule intended for after-hours customer access


Carl does not generally describe himself as homeless.
Carl does not generally describe himself as homeless. Instead, he considers himself to have "places to stay." Some accounts describe Carl deliberately cultivating romantic relationships with older women in order to secure temporary housing, such as his disastrous marriage to [[Sue Bob White]] of West Virginia. Carl often publicly laments getting kicked out of Sue Bob's trailer. He also prefers to cohabitate with older women due to their tendency to have various medicines on-hand that he can pilfer.


Instead, he considers himself to have "places to stay."
On the odd occasion that Carl has been able to secure permanent housing, he is almost immediately evicted due to extreme sanitation, noise, and criminal activity concerns.
 
Some accounts describe Carl deliberately cultivating romantic relationships with older women in order to secure temporary housing.
 
Money acquired through such arrangements is frequently spent on alcohol, cigarettes, gambling, and vehicle expenses.


== Gambling ==
== Gambling ==


Gambling is one of Carl's most persistent behaviors.
Gambling is one of Carl's favorite pastimes.


He regularly participates in:
He regularly participates in:


* poker;
* legal and illegal sports betting
* sports betting;
* betting on horse and dog races
* informal card games;
* betting on Polish table tennis matches
* lottery schemes;
* barroom card games
* bar gambling;
* lottery and racketeering schemes
* and wagers involving objects that would not normally be considered appropriate stakes.
* pool
 
* video poker and slot machines
Carl has won vans in poker games and has also lost vehicles, musical equipment, money, and personal possessions through gambling.
* wagers involving objects that would not normally be considered appropriate stakes
 
His understanding of probability appears highly selective.


Carl generally interprets losing streaks as evidence that he is "due."
Carl has won and lost vehicles, musical equipment and residences through gambling, and he has owed considerable sums of money to various parties throughout his life.


== Alcohol and smoking ==
== Alcohol, smoking and drug use ==


Carl is a heavy smoker.
Carl is a heavy smoker. A lit cigarette is present in his mouth almost any time he is photographed, and he has demonstrated little regard for posted smoking restrictions. He once got ejected from Brookfield Zoo for smoking a cigar in a restroom, after which he complained on social media:


A cigarette is present in the overwhelming majority of documented appearances.
<blockquote>
they don't let you smoke cigars in the bathroom at the zoo no more!
</blockquote>


He has demonstrated little regard for posted smoking restrictions.
Carl is also a functional alcoholic. His drinks of choice include low-end fortified wine, malt liquor, and cheap vodka. He shows little regard for laws involving public intoxication, open containers, and public consumption. The floor of his van is usually littered with empty alcohol containers, something which he attempts to justify to police by claiming that since his van is his home, he's doing nothing wrong. He has also been arrested several times for buying alcohol for minors and has a number of DUIs across multiple states.


His preferred alcoholic drinks tend toward inexpensive beer and malt liquor.
He does not consider his relationship with alcohol to be an addiction. When asked about it, Carl simply says “I love drinking, I don’t need it.”


Miller High Life tallboys are particularly associated with him.
Carl will generally consume any substance that comes his way, with a strong preference for prescription medications (usually pilfered from whatever medicine cabinet he has access to) and cheap highs such as inhalants. He tends to not buy or sell street drugs (“too much heat”) but always seems to know where to get them. When offered cannabis, he will refuse, claiming things like "that shit's for hippies".


== Aliases ==
== Aliases ==
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Carl has occasionally continued using an alias after presenting identification bearing his real name.
Carl has occasionally continued using an alias after presenting identification bearing his real name.
== 2025 Batavia-area solicitation arrest ==
One widely reported incident involved Carl's arrest during a reverse-sting solicitation operation in the Batavia-area region on or around '''July 10, 2025'''.
Carl was reportedly encountered along Route 25 near a rusted 1978 Dodge Tradesman van.
At the time of arrest he was described as shirtless, wearing cutoff denim shorts and his gold '''TWEETY''' chain.
The van reportedly bore a wizard mural on its hood.
Carl denied ownership of the vehicle.
He was subsequently held at the Kane County Jail, with bond reportedly set at '''$500'''.
== Wrestling connections ==
Carl has appeared in connection with multiple independent wrestling events and promotions within the Carl Bird Universe.
His participation has varied from:
* musician;
* guest;
* hanger-on;
* informal manager;
* participant in ringside incidents;
* and unwilling physical participant.
In one notable incident, Carl was powerbombed by a luchador.
Carl has subsequently characterized the event as "a work," although witnesses have disputed this.


== Business ventures and schemes ==
== Business ventures and schemes ==
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He strongly prefers cash transactions.
He strongly prefers cash transactions.


== Reputation ==
Within the Carl Bird Universe, Carl occupies a peculiar social position.
He is widely regarded as unreliable, abrasive, dishonest, and exhausting.
At the same time, he has retained long-standing friendships and professional relationships with numerous people who would appear to have every reason to stop dealing with him.
Several factors appear responsible:
* Carl can be genuinely loyal;
* he is fearless in situations where better judgment would suggest caution;
* he is useful in certain unconventional circumstances;
* he knows an enormous number of people;
* and he is nearly impossible to permanently exclude from a social scene.
He is therefore simultaneously a liability and a fixture.
== Relationship with authority ==
Carl's disputes with authority extend beyond law enforcement.
He reacts especially poorly to:
* security guards;
* parking attendants;
* building managers;
* code-enforcement personnel;
* venue employees;
* tow operators;
* and anyone carrying a radio while wearing a polo shirt.
Carl strongly distinguishes between police officers and private security personnel.
This distinction becomes particularly important whenever [[Mike Jorpa]] is involved.
Carl's usual legal theory is that a rule becomes optional if the person enforcing it lacks arrest powers.
This theory has not generally succeeded.
== Speech and mannerisms ==
Carl speaks in a rough New York accent.
Common characteristics of his speech include:
* referring to others as "chief," "pal," or "boss";
* aggressively rhetorical questions;
* claims that situations are "bullshit";
* insistence that he "knows a guy";
* references to [[Tony "No Nose" Catellini]] as legal authority;
* and statements beginning with "technically."
He often interprets silence as agreement.
== Possessions ==
Items frequently associated with Carl include:
* his gold '''TWEETY''' chain;
* cigarettes;
* inexpensive beer;
* folding lawn chairs;
* disposable lighters;
* playing cards;
* questionable vehicle titles;
* guitar equipment;
* and handwritten telephone numbers belonging to people who may not remember giving them to him.
== Continuity inconsistencies ==
Like many long-running figures in the Carl Bird Universe, Carl possesses a number of contradictory biographical details.
The largest concerns his criminal record.
Earlier depictions sometimes characterize Carl as an expert at accumulating large numbers of misdemeanor offenses without ever receiving a felony conviction.
Other accounts explicitly describe an eight-year prison sentence for grand larceny.
Rather than eliminating either version entirely, the broader continuity generally preserves the following core facts:
* Carl has spent substantial time incarcerated;
* he possesses legitimate prison tattoos;
* he has an extensive criminal record;
* most of his later offenses remain comparatively minor;
* and [[Tony "No Nose" Catellini]] has repeatedly prevented relatively small incidents from becoming much larger legal problems.
Individual articles concerning specific incidents should defer to the chronology established in those articles.
== Legacy ==
Carl is widely regarded as the central connective figure of the Carl Bird Universe.
Although many characters belong primarily to individual subcultures—music, wrestling, security, promotion, local business, or organized entertainment—Carl moves freely between them.
As a result, seemingly unrelated figures such as [[Tony Bulsara]], [[Darnell Watson]], [[Trabajo Bone]], [[Mike Jorpa]], [[Zutroy Zagreb]], [[Redline]], and various independent wrestling personalities often become connected through Carl.
His continued presence also explains why otherwise respectable events frequently end with police involvement, vehicle trouble, unpaid tabs, small fires, or arguments in parking lots.


== See also ==


* [[Redline]]
* [[Redline]]
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[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Musicians]]
[[Category:Redline members]]
[[Category:Criminals]]
[[Category:Gamblers]]
[[Category:Brooklyn natives]]
[[Category:Illinois residents]]
[[Category:Carl Bird Universe]]
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