Carl Bird Extended Universe - Recent changes [en]

Juan Gonzalez

Jon — Fri, 11 Sep 2026 21:19:49 GMT

Career

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	It is in this way that Gonzalez came to encounter and become acquainted with [[Carl Bird]]. Bird frequents the store where Gonzalez works due to its proximity to Bird's probation officer's office.		It is in this way that Gonzalez came to encounter and become acquainted with [[Carl Bird]]. Bird frequents the store where Gonzalez works due to its proximity to Bird's probation officer's office.

	In 2013, Gonzalez launched a small food truck operation called ''Tacos El Jefe'' out of the back of his 1989 Toyota pickup truck. After surrendering his truck to [[Zutroy Zagreb]] in lieu of payment for vendor booth fees (Zagreb maintains to his day that he still lost on the deal), Gonzalez partnered with Bird to use his van for the food truck business. Bird insisted on renaming the business to Taco Jabronis, and that they should attempt to cater to a wider audience by attending events not solely for a Spanish-speaking market in the near-west suburbs.		In 2013, Gonzalez launched a small food truck operation called ''Tacos El Jefe'' out of the back of his 1989 Toyota pickup truck. After surrendering his truck to [[Zutroy Zagreb]] in lieu of payment for vendor booth fees (Zagreb maintains to his day that he still lost on the deal), Gonzalez partnered with Bird to use his van for the food truck business. Bird insisted on renaming the business to [[Taco Jabronis]], and that they should attempt to cater to a wider audience by attending events not solely for a Spanish-speaking market in the near-west suburbs.

Mercado La Colonia

Jon — Fri, 11 Sep 2026 21:15:40 GMT

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	The store is well-known in the neighborhood for providing high quality food and a large selection of items for reasonable prices.		The store is well-known in the neighborhood for providing high quality food and a large selection of items for reasonable prices.
			[[File:Rakesh.jpg\|thumb\|Rakesh Subramanian, manager and owner]]

	== Comidas La Colonia ==		== Comidas La Colonia ==

File:Rakesh.jpg

Jon — Fri, 11 Sep 2026 21:15:09 GMT

Jon uploaded File:Rakesh.jpg

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Rakesh

Juan Gonzalez

Jon — Fri, 11 Sep 2026 21:12:46 GMT

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	\| locations = [[Melrose Park]]		\| locations = [[Melrose Park]]
	\| status = Alive		\| status = Alive
	}}		}}'''Juan Gonzalez''' is a Mexican-American grocery worker and food service entrepreneur.

	'''Juan Gonzalez''' is a Mexican-American grocery worker and food service entrepreneur.

	== Early life ==		== Early life ==
	Gonzalez was born in Ciudad Juárez, Chihuahua, Mexico on December 5, 1977, and arrived in the US with his parents in 1989. He has lived in [[Melrose Park]] since then. For most of his life, he worked in manual labor positions, until approximately 2015 when he became employed at [[Mercado La Colonia]].		Gonzalez was born in Ciudad Juárez, Chihuahua, Mexico on December 5, 1977, and arrived in the US with his parents in 1989. He has lived in [[Melrose Park]] since then. For most of his life, he worked in manual labor positions, until approximately 2015 when he became employed at [[Mercado La Colonia]].

			== Personal Life ==
			Juan married co-worker Maria Gonzalez (nee Flores) in 2005. They got divorced in 2014, citing irreconcilable differences. He currently lives with his dog "Huesos" in a Melrose Park apartment.

			== Career ==
			Gonzalez has held a position at [[Mercado La Colonia]] since 2015. His duties include tending the counter, stocking shelves, unloading trucks, and occasionally cooking at the quasi-legal taqueria located inside the store.

			It is in this way that Gonzalez came to encounter and become acquainted with [[Carl Bird]]. Bird frequents the store where Gonzalez works due to its proximity to Bird's probation officer's office.

			In 2013, Gonzalez launched a small food truck operation called ''Tacos El Jefe'' out of the back of his 1989 Toyota pickup truck. After surrendering his truck to [[Zutroy Zagreb]] in lieu of payment for vendor booth fees (Zagreb maintains to his day that he still lost on the deal), Gonzalez partnered with Bird to use his van for the food truck business. Bird insisted on renaming the business to Taco Jabronis, and that they should attempt to cater to a wider audience by attending events not solely for a Spanish-speaking market in the near-west suburbs.

Juan Gonzalez

Jon — Fri, 11 Sep 2026 18:59:50 GMT

Created page with "{{Infobox character | name = Juan Gonzalez | image = thumb|Gonzalez in 2025 | caption = | full_name = Juan Federico Rogelio Montez Gonzalez | aliases = | birth_date = December 5, 1977 | birth_place = Ciudad Juárez, Chihuahua, Mexico | species = | occupation = Grocer, restaurateur | affiliation = | relatives = | marital_status = Divorced | associates = Carl Bird, Rakesh Subramanian | enemies = | locations = Melrose Park | status =..."

New page

{{Infobox character
| name = Juan Gonzalez
| image = [[File:Juan gonzalez.jpg|thumb|Gonzalez in 2025]]
| caption =
| full_name = Juan Federico Rogelio Montez Gonzalez
| aliases =
| birth_date = December 5, 1977
| birth_place = Ciudad Juárez, Chihuahua, Mexico
| species =
| occupation = Grocer, restaurateur
| affiliation =
| relatives =
| marital_status = Divorced
| associates = [[Carl Bird]], Rakesh Subramanian
| enemies =
| locations = [[Melrose Park]]
| status = Alive
}}

'''Juan Gonzalez''' is a Mexican-American grocery worker and food service entrepreneur.

== Early life ==
Gonzalez was born in Ciudad Juárez, Chihuahua, Mexico on December 5, 1977, and arrived in the US with his parents in 1989. He has lived in [[Melrose Park]] since then. For most of his life, he worked in manual labor positions, until approximately 2015 when he became employed at [[Mercado La Colonia]].

File:Juan gonzalez.jpg

Jon — Fri, 11 Sep 2026 18:35:52 GMT

Jon uploaded File:Juan gonzalez.jpg

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Juan Gonzalez 2025

Vanstock

Jon — Fri, 11 Sep 2026 18:23:07 GMT

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	[[File:Vanstock.jpg\|thumb\|Vanstock Showbill from 2015]]		[[File:Vanstock.jpg\|thumb\|Vanstock Showbill from 2015]]
	'''Vanstock''' was a three-day van show and heavy metal festival held ~~over~~ July 17-19, 2015 at Nowell Park in Joliet, Illinois. According to the crude showbill printed for the event, it was supposed to feature bands such as:		'''Vanstock''' was a three-day van show and heavy metal festival held from July 17 to 19, 2015 at Nowell Park in Joliet, Illinois. According to the crude showbill printed for the event, it was supposed to feature bands such as:

	* Foreigner		* Foreigner
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	* Slaughter		* Slaughter

	The showbill was circulated throughout local internet groups and distributed via print media, ~~which~~ generated a moderate amount of interest. However, the "van show" portion of the event consisted of a handful of van dwelling transients showing up under the pretense of free parking, and the music festival portion ~~of the show resulted in~~ only one band ~~showing~~ up, Rough Cutt, who ended up playing one set ~~for~~ each day of the festival.		The showbill was circulated throughout local internet groups and distributed via print media, and generated a moderate amount of interest. However, the "van show" portion of the event consisted of a handful of van-dwelling transients showing up under the pretense of free parking, and for the music festival portion only one band showed up, Rough Cutt, who ended up playing one set on each day of the festival.

	[[File:Rough cutt vanstock.jpg\|thumb\|Rough Cutt performing]]		[[File:Rough cutt vanstock.jpg\|thumb\|Rough Cutt performing]]
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	[[File:Vanstock jabronis.jpg\|thumb\|Taco Jabronis]]		[[File:Vanstock jabronis.jpg\|thumb\|Taco Jabronis]]

	Carl Bird was eventually arrested for unlicensed selling of liquor and criminal mischief, to both of which he ~~plead~~ guilty in exchange for a reduced sentence of 60 hours of community service, which he did not complete. The matter of Rough Cutt's contracted but unpaid $4,000 compensation remains unresolved as of {{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}.		Carl Bird was eventually arrested for unlicensed selling of liquor and criminal mischief, to both of which he pleaded guilty in exchange for a reduced sentence of 60 hours of community service, which he did not complete. The matter of Rough Cutt's contracted but unpaid $4,000 compensation remains unresolved as of {{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}.

	[[Category:Events]]		[[Category:Events]]

Partyland balloon incident

Jon — Fri, 11 Sep 2026 16:35:01 GMT

Incident

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	== Incident ==		== Incident ==
			At approximately 11:03 AM, Bird walked through the door and asked to speak to a "Jimmy the Wop", and claimed "he knows why I'm here, he's got some stuff for me". An employee informed Bird that no person by that name worked there. Bird then requested some "nitro balloons" so he could at least "huff something" in his van, and the staff again responded that they had no idea what he was talking about.

			Bird then became irate and proceeded to urinate on a display of inflatable clown punching bags, and then picked up a length of pipe and started smashing merchandise. Store manager Randy Preston telephoned police and then managed to subdue Bird. The police arrived shortly thereafter and cited Bird for public urination and destruction of property.

			== Aftermath ==
			Bird was held on $300 bond, which was posted by his attorney. He plead "not guilty" to the charges, and the prosecuting attorney for Winnebago County decided not to pursue the case further.
	[[Category:Incidents]]		[[Category:Incidents]]

Vanstock

Jon — Fri, 11 Sep 2026 16:31:51 GMT

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	Festival organizer [[Carl Bird]] disappeared when it was revealed that Vanstock had no permit or insurance, and it was later discovered that the entire event was orchestrated by Bird as a way to draw a substantial crowd for his fledgling food truck business [[Taco Jabronis]]. As a result of eating poorly stored and handled food sold by Taco Jabronis, a number of people fell ill from food poisoning, which was exacerbated by the fact that the only sanitation facilities for the entire gathering consisted of the two portable chemical toilets that were normally installed at the park.		Festival organizer [[Carl Bird]] disappeared when it was revealed that Vanstock had no permit or insurance, and it was later discovered that the entire event was orchestrated by Bird as a way to draw a substantial crowd for his fledgling food truck business [[Taco Jabronis]]. As a result of eating poorly stored and handled food sold by Taco Jabronis, a number of people fell ill from food poisoning, which was exacerbated by the fact that the only sanitation facilities for the entire gathering consisted of the two portable chemical toilets that were normally installed at the park.

			[[File:Vanstock jabronis.jpg\|thumb\|Taco Jabronis]]

	Carl Bird was eventually arrested for unlicensed selling of liquor and criminal mischief, to both of which he plead guilty in exchange for a reduced sentence of 60 hours of community service, which he did not complete. The matter of Rough Cutt's contracted but unpaid $4,000 compensation remains unresolved as of {{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}.		Carl Bird was eventually arrested for unlicensed selling of liquor and criminal mischief, to both of which he plead guilty in exchange for a reduced sentence of 60 hours of community service, which he did not complete. The matter of Rough Cutt's contracted but unpaid $4,000 compensation remains unresolved as of {{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}.

	[[Category:Events]]		[[Category:Events]]

File:Vanstock jabronis.jpg

Jon — Fri, 11 Sep 2026 16:31:28 GMT

Jon uploaded File:Vanstock jabronis.jpg

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Taco Jabronis operating at Vanstock

Vanstock

Jon — Fri, 11 Sep 2026 16:02:08 GMT

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	* Slaughter		* Slaughter

	The showbill was circulated throughout local internet groups and print media, ~~and~~ generated a moderate amount of interest. However, the "van show" portion of the event consisted of a handful of van dwelling transients showing up under the pretense of free parking, and the music festival portion of the show resulted in only one band showing up, Rough Cutt, who ended up playing one set for each day of the festival.		The showbill was circulated throughout local internet groups and distributed via print media, which generated a moderate amount of interest. However, the "van show" portion of the event consisted of a handful of van dwelling transients showing up under the pretense of free parking, and the music festival portion of the show resulted in only one band showing up, Rough Cutt, who ended up playing one set for each day of the festival.

	[[File:Rough cutt vanstock.jpg\|thumb\|Rough Cutt performing]]		[[File:Rough cutt vanstock.jpg\|thumb\|Rough Cutt performing]]

	Festival organizer [[Carl Bird]] disappeared when it was revealed that Vanstock had no permit or insurance, and the matter of Rough Cutt's contracted but unpaid $4,000 compensation remains unresolved as of {{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}.		Festival organizer [[Carl Bird]] disappeared when it was revealed that Vanstock had no permit or insurance, and it was later discovered that the entire event was orchestrated by Bird as a way to draw a substantial crowd for his fledgling food truck business [[Taco Jabronis]]. As a result of eating poorly stored and handled food sold by Taco Jabronis, a number of people fell ill from food poisoning, which was exacerbated by the fact that the only sanitation facilities for the entire gathering consisted of the two portable chemical toilets that were normally installed at the park.

			Carl Bird was eventually arrested for unlicensed selling of liquor and criminal mischief, to both of which he plead guilty in exchange for a reduced sentence of 60 hours of community service, which he did not complete. The matter of Rough Cutt's contracted but unpaid $4,000 compensation remains unresolved as of {{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}.

	[[Category:Events]]		[[Category:Events]]

Partyland balloon incident

Jon — Fri, 11 Sep 2026 15:41:36 GMT

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	== Incident ==		== Incident ==

			[[Category:Incidents]]

Danny Watson

Jon — Fri, 11 Sep 2026 15:41:02 GMT

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	'''Danny Watson''' is a soul singer. He is the brother of [[Darnell Watson]] and the son of Sexual Chocolate's Randy Watson.		'''Danny Watson''' is a soul singer. He is the brother of [[Darnell Watson]] and the son of Sexual Chocolate's Randy Watson.

			[[Category:Characters]]

Crazy Jose

Jon — Fri, 11 Sep 2026 15:40:21 GMT

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	'''Crazy Jose''' is an associate of [[Carl Bird]]~~. Very little is known about him outside of what~~ Carl has ~~publicly said about him on the internet~~.		[[File:Crazy jose.jpg\|thumb\|Crazy Jose in a car]]
			'''Crazy Jose''' is an associate of [[Carl Bird]] whom Carl has occasionally mentioned.

	== Dealings with Carl ==		== Dealings with Carl ==
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	=== Uncle Carl's Radio Show ===		=== Uncle Carl's Radio Show ===
	Crazy Jose is known to have loosely collaborated with Carl on his [[Uncle Carl's Radio Show\|extremely short-lived radio show]], providing technical support as well as having a possible connection to the pirate radio station that broadcasted the show for a roughly two-week period.		Crazy Jose is known to have loosely collaborated with Carl on his [[Uncle Carl's Radio Show\|extremely short-lived radio show]], providing technical support as well as having a possible connection to the pirate radio station that broadcasted the show for a roughly two-week period.

			=== Victim of racism ===

			Carl referred Crazy Jose to [[Zutroy Zagreb]] to work security for a wrestling event organized by Zagreb. Upon learning that Crazy Jose is Puerto Rican, Zagreb went on a tirade, stating "I can't have any damn Portoricans [sic] working for me!"

	[[Category:Characters]]		[[Category:Characters]]

File:Crazy jose.jpg

Jon — Fri, 11 Sep 2026 15:35:37 GMT

Jon uploaded File:Crazy jose.jpg

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Crazy Jose at a suburban Illinois strip mall

2025 solicitation arrest

Jon — Thu, 10 Sep 2026 00:44:37 GMT

Incident

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	== Incident ==		== Incident ==

	An undercover officer approached a rusted 1978 ~~rusted~~ Tradesman van parked on the side of Route 25 southbound in the early evening. The officer described the driver as shirtless, wearing cutoff shorts and a gold chain that said 'TWEETY', and covered in crude tattoos. She propositioned Carl to perform a sex act for $40, to which Carl replied, "Hop in, baby!" Carl was taken into custody shortly thereafter. Inside the van, officers found a six-pack of Old Style, several car stereos from 1980s vehicles, a sack of expired Slim Jims, and a duffel bag containing what one deputy called "a suspicious" number of VHS tapes.		An undercover officer approached a rusted 1978 Dodge Tradesman van parked on the side of Route 25 southbound in the early evening. The officer described the driver as shirtless, wearing cutoff shorts and a gold chain that said 'TWEETY', and covered in crude tattoos. She propositioned Carl to perform a sex act for $40, to which Carl replied, "Hop in, baby!" Carl was taken into custody shortly thereafter. Inside the van, officers found a six-pack of Old Style, several car stereos from 1980s vehicles, a sack of expired Slim Jims, and a duffel bag containing what one deputy called "a suspicious" number of VHS tapes.

	== Aftermath ==		== Aftermath ==

Chorbo

Jon — Thu, 10 Sep 2026 00:06:14 GMT

Liner note continuity

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	==== Keep the Wolves at Bay ====		==== Keep the Wolves at Bay ====
	Rod Aylesworth, the band's keyboardist, wrote a ~~greater~~ portion of this album. As a student of Scandinavian studies, he insisted on more Norse-inspired theming for the songs and concept art—this can be seen on the album cover as a lone rider (a warrior actually named "Chorbo" in the canon established roughly by liner notes) standing against the wolf Fenrir, inaccurately cited in the liner notes as a being in Norse mythology that is destined to consume the world during ragnarök.		Rod Aylesworth, the band's keyboardist, wrote a significant portion of this album. As a student of Scandinavian studies, he insisted on more Norse-inspired theming for the songs and concept art—this can be seen on the album cover as a lone rider (a warrior actually named "Chorbo" in the canon established roughly by liner notes) standing against the wolf Fenrir, inaccurately cited in the liner notes as a being in Norse mythology that is destined to consume the world during ragnarök.

	Despite the ambition behind the album, it was almost universally panned by critics. While Aylesworth characterized the album as "ahead of its time", heavy metal fans of the day received the album poorly. It ultimately sold less than a hundred thousand copies but today is considered a fan favorite, and even attracted a mildly positive review by David St. Hubbins of Spın̈al Tap in an offhand comment made during a magazine interview.		Despite the ambition behind the album, it was almost universally panned by critics. While Aylesworth characterized the album as "ahead of its time", heavy metal fans of the day received the album poorly. It ultimately sold less than a hundred thousand copies but today is considered a fan favorite, and even attracted a mildly positive review by David St. Hubbins of Spın̈al Tap in an offhand comment made during a magazine interview.
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	=== Definition of "Chorbo" ===		=== Definition of "Chorbo" ===
	"Chorbo" also means "summer romance" in Iberian Spanish. The operator of Chorbo's Facebook page, Don Frumpton, released a statement:		"Chorbo" also means "summer romance" in Iberian Spanish. The operator of Chorbo's Facebook page, guitarist Don Frumpton, released a statement:

	<blockquote>		<blockquote>
	One of our fans in Spain told us that Chorbo in Spanish means “summer fling”. Well let me tell you what it means in the UK: no compromises heavy metal that is true to its roots even after 45 years.		One of our fans in Spain told us that Chorbo in Spanish means “summer fling”. Well let me tell you what it means in the UK: no compromises heavy metal that is true to its roots even after 45 years.
			</blockquote>

			=== Liner note continuity ===
			[[File:Skull mountain liner.jpg\|thumb\|Night on Skull Mountain liner notes]]
			In the liner notes of ''Night on Skull Mountain'', the following liner notes establish that the album is the story of an actual warrior named Chorbo:

			<blockquote>
			In the mists of time, in the days of yore, a small kingdom was beset on all sides by goblin hordes. Towns were pillaged, men were set aflame, women and children were stolen and carried to an unspeakable fate.

			Until one day, when it seemed like the never-ending night was at its darkest, a lone man came down from the mountains and turned the tide of war: Chorbo. Armed with nothing but his legendary strength and an axe, Chorbo takes on the goblin hordes singlehandedly.
			</blockquote>

			Later, in the notes for ''Keep the Wolves at Bay'', the following passage continues Chorbo's adventures:

			<blockquote>
			In the ancient scrolls in the cold northern Viking kingdoms, there is a prophecy that foretells Ragnarök, the Twilight of the Gods. It is said that the giant wolf Fenrir will break free from his magical bonds and devour the world.

			The arrival of Ragnarök was heralded by three consecutive winters, and the stars disappeared from the sky. A great earthquake then freed Fenrir and he arrived unto Midgard with great awe and terror by all who saw him, and he said to them: "Behold and fear me, for I am the world-devouring wolf Fenrir!"

			But there is one thing Fenrir never counted on: Chorbo. In open defiance of the Norns, armed with his legendary strength and mighty axe, Chorbo will challenge the world-devouring wolf in single combat. Can Chorbo save not only the kingdom, but the entire world?
	</blockquote>		</blockquote>

	[[Category:Bands]]		[[Category:Bands]]

File:Skull mountain liner.jpg

Jon — Wed, 09 Sep 2026 19:10:18 GMT

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Liner notes for Night on Skull Mountain

Talk:Carl Bird

Jon — Wed, 09 Sep 2026 18:45:59 GMT

Origin and provenance

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	* My wife’s second cousin Rusty, who had a breathalyzer interlock on his pickup truck and was known to walk ten miles to town for beer.		* My wife’s second cousin Rusty, who had a breathalyzer interlock on his pickup truck and was known to walk ten miles to town for beer.
	* Uncle Rico from the movie Napoleon Dynamite, who lives in a van and is always working on a side hustle.		* Uncle Rico from the movie Napoleon Dynamite, who lives in a van and is always working on a side hustle.
	* Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force		* Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Despite the fever dream-like qualities of this show, Carl is one of the few human characters who is a prototypical "loser": unemployed, balding, wears sweat pants and flip flops, speaks with a New Jersey accent, and has a penchant for late 70s hard rock bands such as Foreigner and Foghat.
	* Randy "The Ram" Robinson from the 2008 movie The Wrestler, a man who is thoroughly stuck in the 1980s and can't find stable employment or even anywhere he's welcome outside of wrestling.		* Randy "The Ram" Robinson from the 2008 movie The Wrestler, a man who is thoroughly stuck in the 1980s (to the point where he doesn't seem to understand that technology newer than the NES exists) and can't find stable employment or even anywhere he's welcome outside of wrestling, gets locked out of his trailer for non-payment of rent, and drives a sweet van that looks like it may have been lived it at points.

	=== Why Big Bird? ===		=== Why Big Bird? ===