Carl Bird Extended Universe - User contributions [en]

Juan Gonzalez

2026-09-11T21:19:49Z

Jon: /* Career */

{{Infobox character
| name = Juan Gonzalez
| image = [[File:Juan gonzalez.jpg|thumb|Gonzalez in 2025]]
| caption =
| full_name = Juan Federico Rogelio Montez Gonzalez
| aliases =
| birth_date = December 5, 1977
| birth_place = Ciudad Juárez, Chihuahua, Mexico
| species =
| occupation = Grocer, restaurateur
| affiliation =
| relatives =
| marital_status = Divorced
| associates = [[Carl Bird]], Rakesh Subramanian
| enemies =
| locations = [[Melrose Park]]
| status = Alive
}}'''Juan Gonzalez''' is a Mexican-American grocery worker and food service entrepreneur.

== Early life ==
Gonzalez was born in Ciudad Juárez, Chihuahua, Mexico on December 5, 1977, and arrived in the US with his parents in 1989. He has lived in [[Melrose Park]] since then. For most of his life, he worked in manual labor positions, until approximately 2015 when he became employed at [[Mercado La Colonia]].

== Personal Life ==
Juan married co-worker Maria Gonzalez (nee Flores) in 2005. They got divorced in 2014, citing irreconcilable differences. He currently lives with his dog "Huesos" in a Melrose Park apartment.

== Career ==
Gonzalez has held a position at [[Mercado La Colonia]] since 2015. His duties include tending the counter, stocking shelves, unloading trucks, and occasionally cooking at the quasi-legal taqueria located inside the store.

It is in this way that Gonzalez came to encounter and become acquainted with [[Carl Bird]]. Bird frequents the store where Gonzalez works due to its proximity to Bird's probation officer's office.

In 2013, Gonzalez launched a small food truck operation called ''Tacos El Jefe'' out of the back of his 1989 Toyota pickup truck. After surrendering his truck to [[Zutroy Zagreb]] in lieu of payment for vendor booth fees (Zagreb maintains to his day that he still lost on the deal), Gonzalez partnered with Bird to use his van for the food truck business. Bird insisted on renaming the business to [[Taco Jabronis]], and that they should attempt to cater to a wider audience by attending events not solely for a Spanish-speaking market in the near-west suburbs.

Mercado La Colonia

2026-09-11T21:15:40Z

Jon:

[[File:La colonia.jpg|thumb|Storefront]]
'''Mercado La Colonia''' is a small Mexican grocery store in [[Melrose Park]]. It is owned by '''[[Rakesh Subramanian]]''' and employs '''[[Juan Gonzalez]]''' in addition to other staff.

The store is well-known in the neighborhood for providing high quality food and a large selection of items for reasonable prices.
[[File:Rakesh.jpg|thumb|Rakesh Subramanian, manager and owner]]

== Comidas La Colonia ==

''Comidas La Colonia'' is a semi-licensed taqueria located inside the store. It offers such staples as tacos, taquitos, fried chicken, chiles rellenos, fried potatoes and churros, as well as Mexican rice and refried beans by the pound. It is explicitly billed as a "hot food to go" business, and anyone wishing to consume the food may not do so on premises and must proceed to the adjoining lot containing picnic tables. ''Comidas La Colonia'' only accepts cash payments.

[[Category:Businesses]]

File:Rakesh.jpg

2026-09-11T21:15:09Z

Jon:

Rakesh

Juan Gonzalez

2026-09-11T21:12:46Z

Jon:

{{Infobox character
| name = Juan Gonzalez
| image = [[File:Juan gonzalez.jpg|thumb|Gonzalez in 2025]]
| caption =
| full_name = Juan Federico Rogelio Montez Gonzalez
| aliases =
| birth_date = December 5, 1977
| birth_place = Ciudad Juárez, Chihuahua, Mexico
| species =
| occupation = Grocer, restaurateur
| affiliation =
| relatives =
| marital_status = Divorced
| associates = [[Carl Bird]], Rakesh Subramanian
| enemies =
| locations = [[Melrose Park]]
| status = Alive
}}'''Juan Gonzalez''' is a Mexican-American grocery worker and food service entrepreneur.

== Early life ==
Gonzalez was born in Ciudad Juárez, Chihuahua, Mexico on December 5, 1977, and arrived in the US with his parents in 1989. He has lived in [[Melrose Park]] since then. For most of his life, he worked in manual labor positions, until approximately 2015 when he became employed at [[Mercado La Colonia]].

== Personal Life ==
Juan married co-worker Maria Gonzalez (nee Flores) in 2005. They got divorced in 2014, citing irreconcilable differences. He currently lives with his dog "Huesos" in a Melrose Park apartment.

== Career ==
Gonzalez has held a position at [[Mercado La Colonia]] since 2015. His duties include tending the counter, stocking shelves, unloading trucks, and occasionally cooking at the quasi-legal taqueria located inside the store.

It is in this way that Gonzalez came to encounter and become acquainted with [[Carl Bird]]. Bird frequents the store where Gonzalez works due to its proximity to Bird's probation officer's office.

In 2013, Gonzalez launched a small food truck operation called ''Tacos El Jefe'' out of the back of his 1989 Toyota pickup truck. After surrendering his truck to [[Zutroy Zagreb]] in lieu of payment for vendor booth fees (Zagreb maintains to his day that he still lost on the deal), Gonzalez partnered with Bird to use his van for the food truck business. Bird insisted on renaming the business to Taco Jabronis, and that they should attempt to cater to a wider audience by attending events not solely for a Spanish-speaking market in the near-west suburbs.

Juan Gonzalez

2026-09-11T19:50:26Z

Jon:

Juan Gonzalez

2026-09-11T19:50:13Z

Jon:

Juan Gonzalez

2026-09-11T19:00:03Z

Jon:

2026-09-11T15:42:54Z

Jon:

2026-09-02T21:00:56Z

Jon:

{{Infobox band
| name = Chorbo
| image = [[File:Chorbo Logo.png|thumb|alt=A white skull and two viking axes in a "skull and bones" pattern, along with the word 'Chorbo' rendered in a red fantasy font on a black field.|Chorbo's Logo]]
| caption =
| origin = Liverpool, England
| genres = Heavy metal, proto-disco
| years_active = 1974–1982, 2017–Present
| labels = Bell Records, Polydor, [[Dollar General Records]]
| associated_acts = Chibwich, KATHARGO
| members = Don Frumpton, Mick Ball, Rod Aylesworth, Bill Stack
| past_members = Graham Hatman, Gerald "Luciano" Hartwig
| website =
| status = Active
}}

'''Chorbo''' is a heavy metal band from England. Their music is heavily imbued with sword-and-sorcery themes: muscle-bound warrior heroes, medieval weaponry, perseverance in battle and the ongoing war against dark forces.

== Early years and genesis ==

Chorbo traces its origins to Chibwich, a Liverpool bar band active during the early 1970s. The group was fronted by vocalist Graham Hatman and lead guitarist Don Frumpton; the identities of its remaining members have reportedly been lost to time and brain damage.

Hatman and Frumpton left Chibwich following a period of creative disagreement. Shortly thereafter, a night of heavy drinking brought the pair to Newcastle upon Tyne, where they passed out on the front steps of a motel occupied by Gerald “Luciano” Hartwig, formerly the bassist for the Krautrock band KATHARGO. Upon leaving the motel, Hartwig tripped over the unconscious musicians and revived them with a garden hose. The three subsequently began discussing music and found that their respective styles were naturally compatible. Plans were soon made to revive Chibwich with Hartwig as its bassist.

By this time, however, Chibwich’s remaining members had recruited replacements for Hatman and Frumpton and continued performing under the original name. The resulting dispute over ownership of the name was eventually settled through a violent confrontation involving broken bottles, cricket bats, the destruction of a drum kit, and the burning of a gardening shed. The precise sequence of events—and whether the settlement possessed any legal validity—remains unclear.

Having parted ways with KATHARGO in 1973, Hartwig was readily available to join the new group. He proposed combining the names of the musicians’ former bands: ''Chibwich'' and ''KATHARGO''. The resulting contraction, '''Chorbo''', was adopted as the band’s name, marking the beginning of its subsequent career.

== The “Scouser Sound” era and stylistic shift ==
[[File:Chorbo Scouser era.jpg|thumb|Chorbo in a 1975 performance]]
Chorbo’s early material centered on the “Scouser Sound,” a hybrid of hard rock and emerging dance-music styles that would later coalesce into disco, and whose visual stylings included sweat bands, track suits, and excessive gold jewelry. The band was reportedly “only playing this style because that’s what sold at the time”, but all of the members knew the Scouser Sound was over when they included a disco whistle on the song Throb Machine.

Late singer Graham Hatman picked up a worn mass market paperback anthology of Conan the Barbarian stories in 1978 and had a new vision. The band quickly retooled their image and changed direction to a New Wave of British Heavy Metal sound with sword-and-sorcery themed lyrics and visual stylings.

== Golden era ==
In April of 1978, Graham Hatman got kicked out of his flat for non payment of rent. He crashed at Mick Frumpton's house (brother of guitarist Don Frumpton) and wrote what would become the lyrics for Night on Skull Mountain over an intense weekend of drinking. Needing a new living situation, he decided to abscond to his mother's English country cottage. The band followed, and within a span of a week they had fully arranged the songs that would become Night on Skull Mountain. The band was able to negotiate discounted studio time at Flatley Hall in West Bromwich and recorded the album soon after.

=== Unsuccessful follow-ups ===
While Chorbo's ''Conquest'' tour of the US and UK to support ''Night on Skull Mountain'' was a measured success, fans demanded more. However, due to pressures of touring, Graham Hatman's worsening alcoholism, and creative tensions within the band, it took until 1980 to record and release their follow-up album ''Keep the Wolves at Bay''.

==== Keep the Wolves at Bay ====
Rod Aylesworth, the band's keyboardist, wrote a greater portion of this album. As a student of Scandinavian studies, he insisted on more Norse-inspired theming for the songs and concept art—this can be seen on the album cover as a lone rider (a warrior actually named "Chorbo" in the canon established roughly by liner notes) standing against the wolf Fenrir, a being in Norse mythology that is destined to consume the world during ragnarök.

Despite the ambition behind the album, it was almost universally panned by critics. While Aylesworth characterized the album as "ahead of its time", heavy metal fans of the day received the album poorly. It ultimately sold less than a hundred thousand copies but today is considered a fan favorite, and even attracted a mildly positive review by David St. Hubbins of Spın̈al Tap in an offhand comment made during a magazine interview.

== Graham Hatman's troubled final years ==

== Comeback ==

== Discography ==

{| class="wikitable sortable"
! Cover
! Album
! Year
! Notes
|-
| [[File:Self titled chorbo.jpg|100px]]
| ''Self-titled''
| 1974
| Arguably the zenith of the "Scouser Sound". Includes a disco whistle on the song ''Throb Machine'', much to the manager Ian's chagrin.
|-
| [[File:Night on Skull Mountain.jpg|100px]]
| ''Night on Skull Mountain''
| 1978
| Sold almost a million copies in the United States and prompted the kickoff of their ''Conquest'' tour.
|-
| [[File:Keep the Wolves at Bay.jpg|100px]]
| ''Keep the Wolves at Bay''
| 1980
| Sophomore effort with Chorbo's new heavy metal sound. Although highly anticipated by many heavy metal fans, this album sold fewer than a hundred thousand copies in the United States. Of this album, David St. Hubbins of Spın̈al Tap said the following:
<blockquote>
It can definitely sit on the shelf next to bands like Grim Reaper and Tygers of Pan Tang.... but not too closely.
</blockquote>
|-
| [[File:Axe Rampage.jpg|100px]]
[[File:Rampage black.jpg|45px|Alternate cover]]
| ''Axe Rampage''/''Rampage''
| 1981
| The final album of Chorbo's "Golden age". Confusingly, there is a UK-only version released with an all-black cover and the name changed to simply ''Rampage'', which was hastily prepared and printed in response to a court order forbidding the band from attempting to capitalize off of Graham Hatman's actual drunken axe rampage inside a discount store in Burton-upon-Trent. The band considers this album an epitaph to Hatman who died in 1982.
|}

== Trivia ==
=== Work with Rick James ===
[[File:Throwing down.jpg|thumb|Album cover]]
Chorbo once shared a photo studio with Rick James. While Chorbo was in the studio shooting their album cover for the single Warlock Nights, James had booked an adjacent studio to shoot the album cover for the album “Throwin’ Down”, but shortly after arrival one of James’ entourage had his Jheri-curl catch fire, requiring the studio to be fumigated. Chorbo welcomed James with open arms and James ended up with a barbarian-themed album cover.

=== Definition of "Chorbo" ===
"Chorbo" also means "summer romance" in Iberian Spanish. The operator of Chorbo's Facebook page, Don Frumpton, released a statement:

<blockquote>
One of our fans in Spain told us that Chorbo in Spanish means “summer fling”. Well let me tell you what it means in the UK: no compromises heavy metal that is true to its roots even after 45 years.
</blockquote>

[[Category:Bands]]

Pork and beans heist

2026-09-02T20:58:54Z

Jon:

[[File:IMG 0869.jpeg|thumb|A photo uploaded to instagram by Bird’s associate “[[Crazy Jose]]”]]

Carl Bird was arrested on May 24, 2013 for stealing a sealed industrial drum of pork and beans. In Bird’s own words posted on his Facebook:

<blockquote>

so i got arrested again. i was workin in the cafeteria of the state nuthouse as part of my work release program and got busted tryin to load a 55 gallon drum of pork and beans from the kitchen into my van
</blockquote>

[[Category:Incidents]]